Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize