Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I need to calm my uterus...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
