hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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