It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
