well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
