Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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