Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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