Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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