escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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