put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
