He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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