just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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