You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
