I didn't shave. On purpose
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
