shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
