the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
