I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
