And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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