R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
