I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
