i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Never joke about your clitoris.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
