bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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