I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
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