rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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