i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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