Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
