that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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