Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
