thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
