I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
