Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
