well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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