omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
