Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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