worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
