i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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