Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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