Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
