your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I want a musical about memes.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
