She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
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you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
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You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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