even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
