She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
