dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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