I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize