God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize