im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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