I wish I only lived at night.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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