Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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