so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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