okay pat passed out under dana's car
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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