I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
