ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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