A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
