I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
