If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize