But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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