when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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