Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
